Ups and Downs
by Nagatsuki Nura
Summary: Another Rivetra one-shot! During an exhibition, Petra almost got herself killed, which causes Levi to get mad at her. How will these two reconcile? T-Rated


**Summary: Another Rivetra one-shot! During an exhibition, Petra almost got herself killed, which causes Levi to get mad at her. How will these two reconcile? **

**A/N: This one is T-rated due to some casualties but no (main) character death (just near death and some OC deaths). I often wonder what if Levi gets mad and accidentally hits Petra, and immediately regrets it, and how would Petra act towards him afterwards. I will be honest, maybe the reason I wrote this is because of my strange fascination with angsty feels. This one is probably a bit OOC again.**

**Disclaimer: ****Shingeki no Kyojin doesn't belong to me. The story and characters belong to Isayama Hajime-sensei. If they were mine, Rivetra would be the top OTP and lots of characters wouldn't have died.**

* * *

It's been two weeks, but Petra has barely spoken a word nor look at him in the eyes. There she is, serving his coffee in his office, but unlike the usual times when she would greet him with her cheerful voice and bright smile, this time she keeps her head low and only utters softly,

"Enjoy your coffee, sir."

He has the right to speak to her and order her to talk to him. However he chooses to merely nod and let her leave him completely alone and feel like an asshole. Levi stares at his right hand and as bizarre as it sounds, he feels like stabbing it right at the moment with the letter opener on his desk.

_Why the fuck did I do that? _He asks himself and regretfully remembers what happened.

* * *

_It was just another typical expedition for the Special Operation Squad, but not to the small battalion of amateur soldiers they were bringing along. According to Erwin, the purpose of this expedition this time was to show the soldiers how it feels like to go outside the wall and to train them to overcome, if not, control their fear as well as to train them. _

_Levi had some expectations from them because according to the reports he read, these soldiers were skilled and top combatants in their group .But what was not written in their personal information was that they were proud and arrogant, so they lacked in teamwork and preferred to work on their own, probably to show off how strong and skilful they were._

_"A bunch of immature brats," Levi muttered when he realized their true nature a few days before the expedition._

_He was roaming around the castle grounds when he saw a group of teenagers consist of three to four of them. At first, they were discussing on which regime they were going to join once they graduated. Eventually their conversation turned to mockery amongst each other and arguing who was going to kill the most Titans. One of them took the teasing too seriously and then he hit a blonde boy and of course, a brawl started._

_Levi at first didn't bother to interrupt because for him this was just annoying children's fight and they were not worth of his time. He clicked his tongue, "Tch! Fucking troublesome punks."_

_"Stop it! What's going on here?!" A female voice shouted, coming from the stables._

_He realized it was Petra who was running towards the commotion, and broke the two apart. Although both of them were bigger than her, they couldn't help but to obey to one of the best Titan killers ever._

_"Care to explain what happened?" She glared at them both while crossing her arms in an intimidating way._

_The two at first didn't say a word, and just kept their heads down, suddenly interested in their boots more than her._

_"Curt. Would you mind to explain?" She called the blonde boy._

_He then made their salute to show some respect. "Yes, ma'am! We were just talking about who was going to be eaten in the expedition. We jokingly said it would be Eric and then he just suddenly struck me."_

_She stared at him for a while and then asked the other three. "Is it true?" To which they quickly nodded._

_"This is what I should say to all of you. It is not a joke to make fun of other people's lives. Especially when you've seen how the Titans horribly and coldly killed your comrades during your training days. Do you think this is some kind of contest where you are the winner if you're the only one who survived in a battle field? For me, that should be an embarrassment because we're doing this for the sake of humanity, and not some competition."_

_Her voice was so stern that other soldiers who were walking around them stopped to listen. Levi couldn't help but feel very impressed with his hand-picked soldier. It also amazed him how she was usually sweet and gentle suddenly became so fierce like a lioness._

_She proceeded, "From now on I want every one of you to think again of the way you judge our situation. All of you can leave now except for Curt. I'd like to speak to you personally."_

_They did as she told them and left with obvious shame in their faces. Levi stayed in his spot to listen further._

_Petra brought the boy named Curt near to the stable and pulled out a clean handkerchief and washed it by using a water tap. She then lightly dapped the cloth against his cheek, which caused him to wince in pain._

_"What were you thinking? You could've been kicked out of the expedition team for your rash and impulsive behaviour," she scolded him._

_"Come on, Petra-san. It was just a joke. It wasn't like we meant what we said," he muttered in defence._

_"You still shouldn't do that. It's a bad sign. You don't know what would happen in a few days, and I don't want to lose any of our fresh soldiers."_

_Curt seemed to ignore the last part and jokingly said, "Even if I were to be kicked out, you got my back, don't you?"_

_Angrily, she pressed the clothe against his face and he winced in pain. "Ow! What was that for?"_

_She put her hands against her hips. "Just because you were like a little brother to me when we were kids doesn't mean that I could show favouritism. This is a battlefield, Curt, not a playground. You should always remember that."_

_"Alright, alright. I got it." he sighed in disappointment but then goes back to his signature smile. "Did you see how I kicked Eric's ass? He was the one who started the fight but then he's the one lying on the ground. I'm pretty awesome, aren't I?"_

_Groaning while shaking her head, Petra couldn't help but gave a warm smile, remembering how stubborn her childhood friend was. "I guess you've gotten stronger than before, Curt. I'm proud of you for that." She stroked his head and he blushed while grinning happily._

_On the side, Levi wouldn't express that he felt extremely pissed at the golden haired soldier. Not just because of his irritating personality and he caused the havoc earlier, but also he got most of Petra's attention to him, as well as her company during meals and training. He didn't know what caused him to feel that way because that's how Petra treats other people, with care and warmth. Other than that, what made him resent the boy was the way how he was able to make Petra feel really comfortable, enough to make her laugh with his shitty jokes and the memories of their childhood. Those were the things that he couldn't do to her._

_Unable to hold the boiling emotions in him anymore, he called her name._

_Immediately, she came running towards him. "Yes, Heichou. What is it?"_

_Suddenly he found himself speechless. The reason he called her wasn't for any reason, but simply to get her away from that brat he was glaring at. He quickly came up with an excuse in order to maintain his pride and dignity._

_"Let's go and help me clean the study room."_

_She gladly gave him a smile that he didn't realize had been craving for. "Yes, sir!"_

_"Don't forget to make my coffee afterwards," he instructed, attempting to hide his satisfaction in his tone._

_A few days later, they were out of the wall. In the middle of the expedition, two soldiers from Auruo's group had died, both being trampled and eaten by the Titans._

_"Why the hell are we losing damned soldiers?" Levi thought furiously._

_He shouted at those who were riding behind him. "What the hell are you shitheads doing? This has barely begun, and you're already shaking? What the fuck have you been training for? This is the time to show how good you think you are!"_

_The soldiers fearful expression then turned to determination and they waited for the right moment to attack. All of a sudden, three Titans emerged from the forest which surprised them but Levi held them down._

_"Hold down your asses! We'll gather them first!" And so they surrounded the them using the speed of their trusted horses. _

_"Alright! Now go and show them what you got!"_

_With the corporal's orders, three of them jumped off their horses and shot the cables from their 3D manoeuvre gears, attached them to the Titans' chest and skilfully swung while avoiding their approaching arms and managed to cut their necks within one strike._

_Satisfied, Levi thought, "These brats are not bad."_

_After that, the three of them held a huge grin on their faces and actually pat each others' backs to congratulate them. He then noticed one of them was Curt._

_"Don't let your guards down! There are still some hiding within the forest so we're going there since we'll have more advantage due to the huge-ass trees."_

_"Yes, sir!"_

_According to their formation, all groups reunited. So far, only two died from Auruo's group, and one from Erd's. Petra and Gunter's group individually had no casualties but one soldier from Petra's group got injured after accidentally detached her cable from a Titan._

_"Well done, all of you for surviving so far. But this is where the real thing starts, so make sure you're ready. We'll have a short break here for 5 minutes. Hide amongst the trees and if you spot a Titan, send a smoke signal."_

_Then they got off their horses, tied them on the tree trunks and climbed for safety on the branches. Some of them refilled their tanks, some checked how many blades they had left, and others drank some water. Levi searched for Petra and noticed she was with Curt, which fumed his irritation once again. Before he could call for him, he heard Curt enthusiastically said,_

_"One day, I'll join the Special Operation Squad so that I could fight alongside with you and Levi-Heichou, Petra-san. And show those Titans who's the boss here. So until that day comes, watch me grow stronger."_

_Petra seemed to be impressed with his resolve and gave an encouraging pat on his shoulder. "I can't wait for the day to come. But before that, make sure you start to get used with teamwork."_

_He heard him groan. "That would be annoying but if that's what you say, I'll do it."_

_"You never change, do you? You've always listened to anything that I say since we were young."_

_"That's because I like you, Petra-san!" He admitted without showing any nervousness._

_For some reason, this triggered Levi's anger more and he lost his patience. He approached them and roughly pulled Curt's uniform to drag him away from her before she could even had the chance to respond. He pushed him against a tree and gave a serious look which sent daggers from his eyes._

_"Look, I've no idea how close you are to Petra. But you should be damned aware that we are in a battle ground so don't lose focus and start on mushy feelings."_

_At first terrified, Curt then softened his expression and calmly informed the corporal, "I know, sir. I've said that to Petra-san a few times already and she had rejected me every time. I only said it earlier so that she knows that no matter what, I'll always be on her side."_

_Never in his life Levi felt so relieved but what came from his mouth was the opposite. "It doesn't matter to me what kind of feelings you have for her. Just don't lose focus and get ready."_

_Before he left, he saw Curt giving him the salute with fire of fortitude in his eyes. All of a sudden, they saw a red smoke, followed with a terrified shriek. Both of them returned to the resting place and everyone had panicked facial expressions on their faces. Around them suddenly emerged a group of Titans which surrounded them in an instant under the trees, clawing the trunks in a futile attempt to climb._

_"Everyone calm down! Get your blades ready!" Petra ordered._

_"Damn it! They must have spotted us entering the forest!" Auruo said._

_" What should we do, Heichou?" Erd asked, moving to Levi's side._

_The number of Titans would increase if they stayed longer, which meant the chance to escape would grow thinner. Furthermore, they were not sure if their gas tanks would be sufficient to kill all of them. But with the aid of the Special Operation Squad members, they should be able to do this. So he came up with an order._

_"Let's kick some Titan asses."_

_"YEAH!" Eric yelled and leaped from a tree branch, followed by his comrades._

_"Don't take my spotlight, Eric!" Curt warned him, leaping as well._

_"Don't get cocky, you newbies!" Auruo chased after them._

_Levi silently swung from his spot, Gunter and Erd on his trail. The three of them killed three Titans simultaneously which impressed the amateur soldiers with their teamwork. They then began to work together, some tried to distract a Titan while the others would go for the kill. Eventually, the number of Titans started to decrease, but Eric began to grow overconfident and went to attack alone._

_"We're going to win this!" He said as he drew nearer towards the back of a Titan. _I'll show them I'm not going to die here!

_"Eric! Watch out below you!" A female soldier warned him._

_A second later, he was gone . The only remaining sign of him was just his cut off cape and a splash of blood splattered from a Titan's gigantic mouth. Then another shriek echoed in the forest. _

_"How dare you killed Eric!" Another soldier yelled, charging forward. But he didn't realize there was another Titan on his blind side, which grabbed him and immediately swallowed him within a second, spraying more blood on the trees and their faces._

_Fear and panic immediately rushed amongst them and most of them began to retreat._

_"Don't hold back! Proceed!" Levi sensed their fear and ordered them to stay._

_Only one of them obeyed him besides Levi's squad, and that was Curt. "Come on guys! We've been trained for this, we can't back down now!"_

_Encouraged by his bravery, the other combatants also began to feel motivated. "He's right. We shouldn't let those Titans win! Let's show them the strength of humanity!"_

_Once again, the younger soldiers showed some cooperation and worked together against the Titans and killed more of them. Their seniors watched behind their backs and observed to give them assistance when required, while fighting on their own._

_"I guess we underestimated them," Gunter exhaled with relief, landing on a tree branch._

_"But they're still not as good as me," Auruo commented proudly._

_"Quit joking around and be more serious!" Petra reprimanded, eyes wandering around the soldiers, as if searching for someone._

_Her anxious behaviour caused her teammates to feel rather concerned. Why was she that worried for these soldiers? _

Please, be careful Curt_, she prayed. And then something caught her eyes. She looked up and saw some bigger Titans coming towards them._

_"Levi-Heichou! 15-metre class are detected!" She alarmed the corporal._

_His eyes shifted to her direction and cursed. "Shit! Why at times like this?"_

_His turned his attention to the smaller Titans for a moment and saw a chance for them to escape. "That's enough! Now that the amount of Titans are reducing, grab this chance to get back to your horses and get the hell out of here! We'll distract the rest of them."_

_"Are you asking us to abandon you, sir?" A soldier asked._

_"We can't do that"! Another said._

_"I'm not asking a request here! This is a fucking order, now do as I say!" He commanded and at the same time startling them._

_Having no other choice, they half-heartedly complied and landed on the ground, grabbed their horses and made their way back, both feeling relieved and ashamed for surviving by leaving their comrades behind. Meanwhile, Levi's squad continued fighting the smaller Titans until every one of their necks were sliced. Now they await for the 15-metre class to come to them. Petra was just pulling her blade from a Titan's neck when she realized a shadow close to them._

_"Curt?! What are you doing here? You were supposed to retreat," she scolded him, worry filled her eyes and voice._

_He shrugged. "Did you expect me to leave you just like that? How mean of you, Petra-san. I just told you my resolve and now you think I should cower away? You know me better than that."_

_"I'm serious. You have to get out of here. Even I'm not that confident enough to fight against 15-metre classes," she insisted, her tone still stern._

_"Then I'll help you then. I thought you said teamwork is important," he retorted._

_"But-"_

_"What are you doing, Petra? Get ready, they're coming!" Levi instructed._

_Although still worried for her friend, she had no choice but to turn her focus at the monsters. Once they were close enough and began to charge, the whole squad began to ambush from the trees. Erd leaped off first and twirled to cut off both of a Titan's hands, giving an opportunity for Auruo to slice the nape of its neck, pouring some blood on their faces. Even though the blood immediately evaporates, Levi still found it very revolting and it took every ounce of his willpower not to stop them and tell them to clean up on the spot. Gunter and Curt worked together with the same strategy and surprisingly they did it remarkably, for blinding two of them, and Petra and Levi went to slash the necks together. _

_Curt was about to make an impressive remark, but got cut off by Levi._

_"Brat! Look out!"_

_And then he was swatted by a strong, big palm and he rocketed towards a tree branch, weakening him as he felt his back being snapped against the tree. Things went so fast that he couldn't even produce any sound._

_"Curt!" Petra screamed. "Hang in there! I'll come to you." _

_She then was about to swing to him, but he stopped her. "Don't! There's no use. I can feel my body giving up on me."_

_"Don't say that, you told me you were going to join us, didn't you? So don't give up just yet!"_

_Curt weakly smiled at her. He knew he was going to die there as soon as he saw a pair of huge, emotionless eyes staring at him hungrily and an open mouth that spilled some saliva, that bared dirty teeth that couldn't wait to bite him._

_"I'm sorry. I guess that will be the only thing I couldn't obey." And then he closed his eyes and felt it: the reeking smell of a Titan's mouth and his body being bitten. The next thing he realized, he was surrounded in darkness._

_"CURT!" She screamed out of fear as she witnessed her friend being eaten alive, charging towards the Titan that killed him with her swords ready. "You damned Titan! Die now!"_

_And she handled it well, but she didn't end it simply like that. She moved to tear open the mouth, hoping to at least pull his body out. What she didn't realize was an incoming hand behind her. When she did notice it, it was so close that she froze there in shock and closed her eyes. She waited for a moment but it didn't touch her so she opened her eyes to see the hand being cut off by Levi. He landed next to her and wrapped an arm around her waist, shot a cable and brought her with him to another tree._

_"Are you out of your freaking mind! Do you want to die?!"_

_"Wait! Curt is still-! I can't leave him!" She pleaded, her arm reaching for Curt._

_Levi clicked his tongue in aggravation and pushed her against the tree. "Get a hold of yourself! It's too late!"_

_However, she persisted, eyes tearing up. "At least please let me take his body out from there. I'm sure he'd want-"_

_She was interrupted when her face felt a hard hand against it. And then she knew it: Levi just hit her, causing a loud slapping sound and her cheek felt really hurt it soon turned red. She fell silent afterwards._

_"There's no fucking point to do that! He's dead! Are you planning to die like him as well?" Immediately, realization struck him like lightning. He just hit her and the back of his hand tingled from the pain and guilt. His eyes widen, surprised at himself more than anyone. He wanted to apologize there, especially when her amber eyes were wide open, filled with anguish and astonishment, but he bit his tongue. "The least thing you could do now is survive and avenge him." His voice was softer this time to which she nodded, her bangs covering most of her face as she did so._

_"Heichou, we've managed to kill most of the Titans. Should we retreat now?" Erd informed._

_"Yeah. Let's go." He turned to make sure she was listening. Sure enough, she nodded and joined them to go to their uninjured horses._

_On their journey home, Petra was uncharacteristically quiet, bothering the whole troop. Levi knew she was holding back her tears when he glanced back to notice her quivering lip. He thought what he did was what's best for her because he just saved her life, but he never felt so horrible like hell. Later that evening, the amateur soldiers were saddened over the deaths of their comrades and she locked herself in her room, refusing anyone's company, including his. And it disappointed him that she unusually rejected him over someone's death._

Of course. He was her childhood friend, you dumbass,_ he mentally scolded himself._

_Respecting her wishes, he turned to leave her, silently wishing she'd go back to her normal self in the morning. The next morning, Petra emerged from her room looking like shit: blood-shot eyes and dark bags were visible under them. No one asked if she was okay because they knew she wasn't so they greeted her normally. They were glad that at least she flashed a smile, though not very cheerful, and prepared breakfast while acting gleeful as usual. The way she acted hurt Levi's heart and he planned to fix it._

* * *

That's what he decided two weeks ago, but he hasn't done a thing to help at all. He wants to say that he is sorry because he believes that she's scared of him after yelling at her and hitting her, and for instructing her to abandon her friend's body. He also wants to tell her that he wasn't angry at her. At that time, he was afraid that the Titan would kill her and he cannot imagine a life without her. However, his personality is just too unfit for him to say the words.

But how long is he going to let Petra stay this way, not speaking to him like before? Another week? No. He can definitely wait that long anymore. He pushes his chair backwards and gets out of his office.

Petra sits on her bed, holding on a badge that belonged to Curt. Before they left, she found his arm lying next to a tree branch so to have at least one item of his, she tore his badge from his sleeve.

_I'm sorry for not being able to save you, Curt. I'm sorry for leaving your body there. I hope you'll be happy on the other side._

She then hears a soft tap on her door and goes to open the door and is surprised to see the raven-haired man that she's in love with.

"Heichou?"

"Can I come in?" His eyes are unusually gentle and so is his tone.

"Yes, sir," she replies and opens the door wider for him to enter. "What can I do for you?"

He walks over to her desk and leans backwards so that his hips touch the corner and he crosses his arms. "Are you still grieving for your friend?" That sounds ruder than he expected it would be.

She shakes her head and he knows she's lying instantly. "I'm sorry for my shameful behaviours, Heichou. I promise that I will be stronger from now on and act more rationally. I will make not make you regret for choosing me as a part of your squad."

Unable to hold it in anymore, he pulls her into a sudden embrace, startling her to the point she is not sure whether to hug him back or not. Even so, she feels her blood rising to her cheeks, reddening them.

Instead she asks, "Heichou? What are you-"

"Forgive me, Petra. You're scared of me aren't you? Listen to me. I'm sorry for slapping and yelling at you while you were grieving for an important person to you. I just want you to know that I wasn't mad at you."

Finally understanding his reason to come, she wraps her arms around him in return and begins to sniff as she remembers the memory. "You weren't?"

He slithers his hand from her back and very gently caresses her head, pressing it against her shoulder so now he is able to feel her hair against his cheek. He closes his eyes from the soft texture and the pleasant fragrance of her strawberry shampoo. "I will never be angry at you."

They stay like that for a moment until Petra pulls back. She wipes her eyes first and then looks at him in the eyes. "I forgive you, Heichou. But that wasn't the reason for my behaviour recently."

He pulls back so that they were face to face, confused. "It's not?" He raises an eyebrow. _If that's not the reason, then what?_

"The reason why I couldn't look at you is that I feel embarrassed at myself. I'm a soldier, I'm supposed to be strong and be able to keep my feelings to myself. But I was so overwhelmed by my sadness for Curt's death that I was about to jump to death on my own. I guess I am still naive and I apologize for that."

Out of nowhere, he puts the back of his hand and chuckles.

"Do you seriously think that I see you as a weakling?"

"But, I was acting very rashly and-"

He assures her, "I never think that you're weak. That's one of the reasons why I chose you as a part of my squad."

"One of the reasons? Are there other reasons?"

"Aside from you being very strong, courageous and smart, you are very beautiful, kind and surprisingly fierce," he tells her, eyes still holding hers.

Petra feels her heart beating wildly inside her chest by his praises and is afraid that he might be able to hear it. She immediately covers her face to hide the redness of her cheeks, at the same time to avoid looking at his serious, cold eyes because they seem to be penetrating her heart more than the usual times. Levi grabs her wrists and puts them aside. Using his finger, he tilts her chin and puts his mouth against hers forcefully and her gasp is covered by his mouth.

In her mind, she debates whether to push him away and tell him that this is wrong or the opposite. After registering what's happening, she gives in to her feelings and instinct, and kisses him back. He turns her around to push her against the wall and press his body against her slightly smaller one. Her arms are now locked by his left hand while his right holds her cheek to gain him access on her face so that he can kiss her cheek, forehead and lips. Petra's moans are kept sealed by his mouth until what seems like forever, they part their faces.

Slowly she opens her eyes and is surprised to see him smiling at her.

"I love you, Petra. That is why when I saw you almost being killed by those fucking monsters, I felt really scared that I'd lose you and I'd be alone in this world without your coffee, smile, laugh, presence- fuck, I need your very existence."

The kiss they shared just now was shocking enough, but his confession is mind-blowing. So she doesn't hesitate anymore and hugs him by wrapping her small arms around his waist.

She assures him against his shoulder, "I love you too, Heichou. You won't lose me because I will stay by your side forever from now on."

He returns the warm embrace. "Good. And call me by name when we're alone."

"Yes, Levi-san."

"You know what this means, don't you?" He inquires, hoping quietly.

She nods.

"Then don't get too close any man except me, since starting from now, you are mine. If that brat tries to approach you, I'll kill him in an instant."

Petra can't help but softly laugh at his promise and possessiveness. She is now feeling more blissful than ever, now that she is his and he is hers, and they are going to face a lot of things together as secret lovers.

* * *

**A/N: I admit I suck at writing Rivetra endings. I've wrote kissing scenes (and more) but for some reason writing Rivetra kissing scene is quite difficult. Probably it's because imagining as these two is just too much to handle. I mean, try to imagine and describe kissing Levi-sama, I don't think anyone could do that without feeling embarrassed and cover their faces. Anyway, reviews make me smile!**


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